Lost finally returns to TV this week after yet another annoying hiatus, and as luck would have it, I now have to wait two more weeks to watch it since we are going on vacation tomorrow. However, in order to stave off withdrawal over the past month or so, I decided to give in to temptation and play the new Lost game for the Xbox 360. I’m glad I didn’t have to pay money for it myself (thanks Frank!) but I do feel ripped off for just having invested a couple evenings of my time into it.

Seriously, why do 90% of licensed games suck? I guess the big reason why this one sucks is that Lost doesn’t really translate well to a video game in the first place. The show is a sci-fi/mystery/drama with a few flashes of action sprinkled here and there. How do you make that fun? They tried to turn the whole “flashback” theme into a gameplay element where your character keeps replaying specific moments in his mind (he’s an amnesiac, if you can believe it) and you have to take a snapshot of a key item or character in the scene to jog your memory and progress the story.

Dialogue is rarely interesting in games, and the fact that every question you ask is met with a stock one word response just makes you avoid conversations altogether. Only a few of the original actors voice their characters, while the rest are horrible substitutes for the real thing. Locke sounds like a farmer with a southern accent.

The only action sequences in the game (if you can call them that) involve aiming a gun at one of the Others while they stand in place, or running away from the black smoke. Don’t even get me started on the forest navigation sequences where you have to hide in the bushes every 30 seconds and wait for the black smoke to leave. These could be some of the most excruciatingly dull and frustrating moments I’ve ever experienced in a video game to date. And yet still I pushed on, hoping to uncover a few clues related to the TV show, but mostly just trying to rack up some easy Xbox 360 achievements. The game’s final scene does give you one intriguing hint as to the nature of the island, but I can tell you that if the TV series ends in the same way, there will be a lot of pissed off fans!

Ubisoft did an okay job of capturing some of the atmosphere of the show, and it was kind of fun to be able to freely explore the hatch and some of the other familiar locations. The “Previously on Lost” recaps before each chapter were kind of cool too. But let’s be honest… a game like this would NEVER have been released if it didn’t have the Lost name on the box. It’s just plain sloppy, ill-conceived, and there was no care taken to make it even semi-enjoyable. Whether you’re a casual or hardcore Lost fan, take my advice and stay far away from this game.